KNOB: The hot, musky month of August 2000 proved icy-cold as 49 Knobs surrendered their freendom to the F. AS Isgro's girlfriend dipped cherry skoal, Al-Tunaiji and Corky McP dipped out of the troop. Flourescent lightes proved no match to Jamey's menorah, but nothing brightened up the squad room like Barthel's butter-toothed smile. No greetings for the ladies, no ladies for the knobs, but as '02 lost rank, Dixie found Renk. Riddle passed-out while Minter passed scabies, but Barthel had the bleeding belly-button and Romano had rabies. John pissed on Romano as '04 possed-off seniors by neglecting to make a homecomming banner. Hand-job Happala laked common sense, but it was Suggs who thougth he could fly. Knight gave a 3 to a nice black guy, but new Trooper Padget gave Knight a black eye. Mindy crushed Wouby's heart and Jamey crushed Bobby's foot...Bobby's foot healed, but Wouby's ego never did. Jae swept his way to recognition day, as 28 knobs made it till May.

SOPHMORE: Flores and Fralix thougth they had balls, while us knobmores looked nasty with high whtie-walls. We wasted no time getting wasted in the barracks, as Jared learned how to drink like a man. Though the Twin Towers fell, Sean and Bryan arose to the occasion Chewy and Brian had ladies in their room, while Wilson wore nothing but fruit of the loom. Knight stole a truck and Tripp crahsed his, but both were blessed with a second chance. William and Nate rode a bovine, while Johnny T. fell in love with a bovine of his own. The Dome found love at Chucky Cheese, wile F-troop acquired some STD's.

JUNIOR: Sergeant rank and BVA's remind us of our junior days; but as they quickly came to pass Stinky Pinky kicked some backside. The F-troop 5 booted hard, while John kept hitting that tub of lard. Rusty and Goldy got pulled for their prank, and Jared pulled the highest rank. Wad toured the zoo with the checkered lady, while Jamey and Willy molested koalas in Oz. The Auzzies and Trip all made it back, and Robbie misses class cause he's in the rack. Willam and jared make love with each other, but Dirty's in love with Marnie the mother. Sean went to the beach with a board and towel; Salava Cruz went to Folly to relieve his bowel. Hyoung-Woo pumped out one-hundred and four, and the King locked out out and begged for more. As five bald aspirants earned guns with knives, blazers changed the junior's lives. Ryan and Ryan were the honorable men, as another year went by again.

SENIOR: 04 gets the Band of Gold, as the end of the story begins to unfold, Dirty Fralix is crowned C.O., while his roomy steals his internet hoe. Hank marches in his first parade, as Wilson parades the squad in Third Batallion. Schniederman finds G-d in the herd, and Halo becomes our favorite word. Word in the Troop says Rawl will get married, while Thomas' first love is forever buried. King-kong kaskowicz was well-hung over, but Brian the Voyer was never found sober. As Fang moves out, cidney moves in; and Goldy gets an F again. Nate becomes El Cid's newest master, and Renkjumong's English is still a disaster.
A glimpse through our past, down memory lane, is not even half of what we overcame. Whether pushing at Big John's, or locked-up in jail, the men of the Troop will always prevail. Crumbling down The Citadel falls, as the surviving Troopers escape from its walls. Whatever the year of our future may bring, we'll always be brothers...bound by the ring.